Jealousy is killing me

Jealousy is killing me

Only Allah knows how I feel.
Only Allah knows how much it kills me.
It's not a thing I chose to be born with.
It's not something to be proud of.
It is a painful test to live with it.
Especially..
when you are apart from the person you care about.
It's not a sentiment I can control even if we are not together.
It is a pain.
It hurts when I realize that I was the only thing preventing someone from doing what he wants..once I disappeared everything changed.
To heal needs time, but with jealousy resides in my heart it needs ages.
I cannot forget easily...
I hate when injuries open with a single gesture.
My heart is loaded,, but it can no longer express

O Allah sends your mercy and peace upon my aching heart.